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Meet the New *&$#, Same As the Old *&$#!

Due to circumstances, I am alone in suburbia this week. Cooking for one is never pleasant, but when it's over 90, it's unthinkable.

The rotisserie chicken at Whole Foods is way better than its rival chicken at Stop and Shop. That's my excuse, and I'm stickin' to it as to why I was scrutinizing the magazines in the checkout line at Whole Foods this afternoon.

Whole Foods checkout magazines are wholesome. Very wholesome. No Lindsay Lohan, no Brad, Kate, or Michelle and Barack on the outs. Whole Foods checkouts mags feature winsome young models (healthier than the fashion variety) promising the customers that somehow, some way, paying a buck a head more for lettuce at this store will enhance not only your sex life, but offer the path to life eternal. The only common thread between the mags at Stop and Shop and Whole Foods is that Oprah is in both of them. That's why she's a gazillionaire.

But to return to my point, I was lucky enough to scan what I believe is the ultimate Whole Foods checkout line magazine headline. I do not recall the magazine's title. It had a young, healthy, blonde young woman exulting in her 86 pound body as cover art. But who could forget this headline.

"Finally: Green Toys for Your Dog."

BONES weren't organic? Who knew?

posted by Michael Gee @ 5:52 PM