homegame

He Saith Among the Trumpets "Go the $#%@! Away!!!

There's no occupation or recreation on earth that doesn't contain blowback, a nasty and unforeseen side effect of the task which robs it of much of its pleasure. For those of us who love watching the NCAA basketball tournament, especially those of us like myself who were lucky enough to sit on press row for a bunch of them, blowback has a literal meaning.

It's the bands. Those jauntily attired young people playing the old chestnuts of pep music with all their might at every time out are beloved by CBS and the NCAA, but to me, they are the equivalent of a jackhammer outside the window on a Sunday morning in June. Honestly, just writing the words "Rock & Roll, Part II," causes this former sportswriter post-traumatic stress disorder.

A band may sound great from the balcony seats. At a distance of 15-20 feet, it's like hearing a 767 coming in at Logan from a home in Winthrop -- while standing on the roof. This brain-bending wall of sound, repeated at every TV time out in the course of a 12 hour day of four basketball game, leaves one a mite twitchy. Writing on deadline to "Tijuana Taxi" at the 90 decibel level is a unique creative experience that would've led Tolstoy to become a pharmacist.

When I was at the Herald, by the time April rolled around, the sight of a trumpet was enough to give me the shakes. Well, that was a long time ago, and I watch the games on TV now, so all should be well, right? If only.

I find, to my fascinated horror, that the background sounds of the bands CBS uses whenever it either fades to or comes back from commercials has exactly the same effect. I cringe, flinch, and fumble for the remote in a desperate lunge for the mute button. This reaction is getting stronger each day the tournament continues, and by April I fully expect I'll be breaking into tears at the mere sight of a rugby shirt.

But at least I know I have a partner in pain, although I admit he's a stronger man than I. The bands have broken my spirit, but this hero is determined to fight them on their own terms.

Ever wonder why Gus Johnson broadcasts the way he does? NCAA tournament announcers sit even closer to the bands than sportswriters.

posted by Michael Gee @ 6:34 AM