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A Baseball History Reverie

Had they only been invented, Ty Cobb totally would have done anabolic steroids, all he could get his hands on. Human growth hormone, too. And while Ty probably would have told Katie Couric and/or a federal grand jury to go fuck themselves, he'd never have bothered to lie to either one.

In fact, the only drawback performance-enhancing drugs would have posed for the Georgia Peach is that taking them would have caused his stolen base totals to decline. Cobb couldn't have sharpened his spikes due to the equilibrium issues caused by running the bases with a head supporting a size 19 7/8ths baseball cap.

posted by Michael Gee @ 3:59 PM