Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Get Me the Patent Office on Line One, Stat!

A group of irritatingly demented Red Sox fans are circulating a petition to have baseball declare the 1904 Red Sox World Champions for that year, being awarded the World Series because the New York Giants refused to play them due to various personal vendettas of Giants owner Albert Brush and manager John McGraw.

Besides being stupid, this petition is morally deplorable. Where's the sportsmanship in winning a title in the hearing room? Don't you think MLB's lawyers have enough to do getting ready for battle with Alex Rodriguez? No, this dispute should be settled as gentlemen do it, on the field. The virtual field, that is.

If ever I saw a concept that needed a video game, it's the 1904 World Series. Just the computer graphics of the uniforms would be a delight. As for the competition, well, Game One starters Christy Mathewson and Cy Young might be a decent matchup for coach-bound managers. I certainly hope virtual McGraw would get ejected from at least one game.

Historical accuracy would be a must. Part of the fun this game would provide would be gamers having to adjust to a sports game where the players weren't superhuman, where the ball was dead and swinging away produced pop-ups, not homers. Sabermetricians wouldn't like it, but learning how to bunt would be no lower than lesson three in how to win.

Our country has hundreds of thousands of sick baseball fans who're also avid gamers, an almost infinite number of unemployed video game developers and more than enough professional and amateur baseball historians to do the required spadework and provide stats for the programmers. All that's lacking is the will.

How about MLB? How about it EA Sports? Put your shoulder to the wheel and you can have this baby in the stores by Opening Day 2014.

Don't forget to make Vin Scully and Roger Angell the announcers. Or, seeing as there was no radio or TV back then, hire some unemployed sportswriters to compose stories for little newspaper front pages that'll pop up on the game screen as the action progresses.

I know one who's available.


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