Monday, December 05, 2011

Home Confinement for the Holidays, Part 1

Was decking the halls yesterday afternoon when I had a Christmas fever vision.

Somewhere in New York City, there must be a warehouse where Rockefeller Center stores the decorations for its Christmas tree. Sometime around November 10, an employee of Rockefeller Center must be assigned to go out to the warehouse and spend eight hours a day until roughly Thanksgiving to make sure the decorations are still in working order.

That's 10 zillion strings of lights to test. From 9 to 5 every working day for two weeks or more, the street music of some neighborhood in Queens or the Bronx must echo to two cries of existential despair every 30 seconds. "God damn it, who tangled these things up? followed immediately by a plain "God damn it!!!"

Rockefeller Center is a big operation. They must have another employee whose job it is to drive to the hardware store for new ones.


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