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For $100,000, You Can Cover Reggie Wayne in the Dime Package

The Globe reports this morning the Patriots are offering a deluxe ticket package for this Sunday's AFC Championship Game in Indianapolis. Suite holders and club seat members are eligible to purchase the two packages which include, a ticket to the game, a room in the team hotel, a chance to attend an NFL party, and most inside and cherished of all benefits, the lucky buyers will travel to and from Indianapolis on the team's charter flight.

Purchase price: $10,000.

The Kraft family's entrepreneurial flair is always a thing to behold, and as a means of making more money off the Pats' franchise, this travel deal is both creative and harms no one. Whoever buys these things will be someone who can easily afford to and who'll be genuinely thrilled at the whole deal.

Nevertheless, I must issue a consumer alert to any prospective buyer. Based on my experiences covering the NFL, think carefully before giving the Pats your Amex platinum number.

A team hotel is much like every other hotel except many people you meet on the elevator are really big. Rest assured you'll be kept far far away from ultra-secret Patriots' activities like team meetings and breakfast.

This blogger has attended many an NFL party in his life, and jolly affairs they are, too. There is, however, a distinct difference between SUPER BOWL parties and the social gatherings at lesser games, even conference title games. The former are devoted to as much wretched excess as can be imagined. The latter, well, let's put it this way. If you've ever attended the free hors d'oeuvres hour in a Marriott concierge lounge, add an ice sculpture, and you have your basic NFL party.

The danger for the well-heeled fan who grabs this deal, however, lies in the perk which seems the most attractive-riding the team plane. The danger is, it's a round trip ticket.

Going out will be OK no matter what. The coaches and players will be firmly in their own universe, but Gil, Geno, and the kindly Pats' PR staff will probably be willing to chew the fat for a few minutes. Give a shout to my man Paul Perillo of Patriots Weekly, too.

The problem is, between the journey out and the journey home, your fellow passengers will participate in an important professional football game. It's entirely possible they'll lose it. Any non-Pats/Colts fan who doesn't think this contest is a 50-50 proposition is delusional.

(Unrelated note to the faux fan radio and TV nitwits of the Boston and Providence markets. When a team on the road is a three-point underdog, it isn't really an underdog. That's the standard point spread differential that's been established by decades of gambling experience and believe you me, if it weren't accurate, the boys in Vegas would've changed it by now. The spread doesn't mean the "experts" are dissing the Pats, it means they think the two teams are fucking equal. That is all. We now return to our original point.)

So there's a very real chance the package buyers will return to New England in the company of their favorite football team after it's suffered the most galling loss the NFL affords. Losing the conference title game is infinitely worse than losing the Super Bowl. You don't even get to be a well-known goat. Trust me, no matter how much you may love the Pats, you don't want to do that.

Many many years ago, when Chuck Fairbanks was coach, and the Pats weren't quite as structured as they are today, this rookie sports hack from the Phoenix traveled back from a garden variety regular season Monday night game in Miami on the team charter. It was a grim experience worth missing altogether. Never before or since have I seen people sleep angrily.

Magnify that jolly atmosphere by about 1,000 and one might approximate what the flight back from a conference championship game is for a road loser. If a Pats fan is aware of this and still wants to buy the 10K package, more power to 'em. They're willing to get close to a part of the NFL experience most fans aren't.

Kickoff Sunday is at 6:30 p.m. The Pats' charter won't leave Indy until well after midnight. Except for FedEx, the skies will be empty. Flight time back to TF Green will be 90 minutes or less.

If the Pats lose, it'll feel like 90 years.

posted by Michael Gee @ 9:15 AM