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Sad, Weird, Sick, or All of the Above

Terrell Owens wants us to know he's feeling good about life. Suicide attempt? Don't be silly. T.O.'s Tuesday night trip to the emergency room was merely the result of an allergic reaction to 35-40 doses of different healthful medications, the sort of understandable mix-up that's so familiar to all those who, like Owens, have live-in publicists and personal hyberbaric chambers out in the garage.

Hey, maybe Owens' version of events is correct, and the initial Dallas police report citing his medical problem as a suicide attempt was the work of two bored patrolmen with overheated imaginations. Thanks to an unfortunate incident in the station basement a few decades back, the Dallas P.D. has roughly the same amount of credibility with the public as T.O.

Let's hope Owens' version of events is truthful. Otherwise, the unlikeable but truly great NFL player is on borrowed time. Without help from others, those who attempt but fail to commit suicide rarely stop there. Where there's a will there's a way.

According to the Dallas Morning News, Owens has been upset over recent family problems. Emotional misery doesn't check bank balances. IF the Cowboys' star did overreact to a moment of despair, his reaction and that of his bloodsucking entourage says nothing good about the culture of celebrity athletics.

Depression, pain, and fleeting thoughts of self-destruction are part of the human condition and are recognized as such. They take over all too many people, leaving more pain in their wake. Why would it be wrong for a pro football star to admit to sharing a human failing? What's in it for Owens and his handlers to insist he's the same unaware, self-loving jackass he's always been? To put it as cynically as possible, letting the world know he attempted suicide is about the only ploy that might make most Americans less hostile to Owens. Better to be seen as a man in trouble than as one who's nothing but trouble.

Thanks to the combined efforts of Owens, the Cowboys, and the Dallas police, the truth about Owens' medical emergency will never be known-not in time to do any good, anyway. If Owens gave the straight version, then his next public eruption will be a familiar pain in the ass, probably an attempt to strangle Drew Bledsoe on the sidelines one Sunday in the near future.

If not, then T.O.'s next ride to the hospital may be shared with the county coroner.

posted by Michael Gee @ 7:42 AM