Monday, July 17, 2006

Non-Traditional Vote of Confidence

Barry Bonds caught a break yesterday. He got to bat against a pitcher whose legal problems are worse than his own.

The Giants' star has yet to be indicted for perjury or tax evasion. Phillies hurler Brett Myers, on the other hand, has already been arrested for domestic violence. In what had to be one of the more awkward social occasions of the baseball season, Bonds hit his 721st career homer off Myers. Showing selective ethics to the twelfth power, San Francisco fans gave Bonds a standing ovation and booed Myers.

It's widely suspected Bonds will move up a class in legal jeopardy by the end of the week. The federal grand jury investigating him for perjury and tax evasion expires, and is considered likely to wind up its business with an indictment or two.

These expectations were fueled in large part by Bonds' own attorney, Laura Enos, who said last week her side was "very well-prepared" to defend its client on either charge.

Very well-prepared? That sounds like something Bill Belichick would say before a Super Bowl. Big-time defense attorneys aren't supposed to be so circumspect. They get paid to radiate confidence and to pooh-pooh any notion their client could've done anything less than praiseworthy, let alone illegal. This ability becomes more necessary the guiltier the client actually is.

Enos issued a "clarification" yesterday that was standard-issue "they got nothin' on my guy" boilerplate. No matter. The world now thinks her client will be placed in the dock. Swell. Just what the sports world needs is MORE news about Bonds.

Don't expect any indictment to fluster Bonds in the least. As an egomaniac with a persecution complex, standing trial will only vindicate Bonds' deep, dark thoughts about his ludicrously pampered and fortunate life. Besides, the last time Bonds was in court, sued for child support, the judge wound up asking him for an autograph.


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