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That's Why He's Called Mr. Baseball

I really need to learn to change the radio channel in my car in the mornings. That way, this afternoon I would have avoided the mellow baritone of former colleague Tony Massarotti staking a claim to win the Dopiest Thing Said by the Media in the 2012 Baseball Award wire-to-wire.

The topic, as it often is when baseball is the subject on Felger & Mazz, was the many shortcomings of Josh Beckett.

"You what else is wrong for a guy with Beckett's stuff?," Tony asked with extreme rhetoricality, "He needs to hit more guys."

Hey, sure. A few more beanballs last September and the Sox would be hoisting up another World Series banner at Fenway this April. I can envision Bobby Valentine's heart-to-heart pep talk with Beckett down in Fort Myers right now.

"Josh, what we really want you to do this season is put more men on base and expose our lineup to a greater risk of injury. It's a tough assignment, I know, but we're counting on you, big fella."

Tony, I say this as someone who worked with you and liked you. It's for your own good, honest. Nobody on this planet makes a less convincing tough guy than you do. Angelina Jolie has a bunch of movies where she was a better tough guy than you are. Drop the act. All it does is make you seem stupid, which you're not, or least didn't used to be.

There's something in those studio headphones that drains the IQ right out.

posted by Michael Gee @ 3:58 PM