Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Fugitive: The Final? Remake

Three members of the Minnesota Vikings flew South yesterday to meet with Brett Favre in person to beg the quarterback to come out of his third or fourth retirement and play quarterback for the team in the 2010 season. Or so it was reported. I have my doubts. Not about the players' trip, but about their alleged motivation.

The Viking players got a thorough razzing for undignified conduct deemed an unmanly violation of the football code of really stupid ethics (If you needed a quarterback, wouldn't asking one to join your team be a GOOD idea?). This looks like a bum rap to me -- at the very least it is not supported by the evidence, which strongly suggests the players had an entirely different motivation.

Consider the timeline: Players arrive at Favre's bucolic retreat in Long Way From the Mall, Mississippi. Hours later, Favre gets on chartered plane and returns to Minnesota. That's salesmanship of an uncannily high order. Instead of the mundane duties of blocking, tackling and kicking, these three guys should be running the Vikes' marketing department.

So I don't think that's what happened at all. Favre's decision reeks of a bag job. The Vikings, management, owners and players knew damn well their wandering eternal boy was coming home. Or rather, they knew that's what Favre said he was going to do.

Isn't it obvious why the Vikings' players made that trip. They weren't in Mississippi to cajole Favre into returning, they were there to ESCORT THE PRISONER. Their duty was to make sure Favre got on that plane and didn't try and convince the pilot to detour to Bristol, Connecticut for an emergency landing on the set of "SportsCenter."

Favre's in camp this morning. Mission accomplished. U.S. Marshal Tommie Lee Jones is very proud.

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