Thursday, March 29, 2007

Great Moments in Political History

Between being chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and running for president, Joe Biden (D-Del.) is a busy man. Yesterday afternoon, Biden's schedule got especially jammed up. Having not been on TV for seven minutes, Biden had to tape a segment of "Hardball" then go to the Radio-TV Correspondents' dinner, one of those Washington self-adoration festivals that turn the late J.P. Morgan into a violent revolutionary.

Oh, yeah, Biden almost forgot. In between those engagements, he had to squeeze in speaking to the Senate on the Iraq war appropriations bill.

Pressed for time, Biden made a most politically unfortunate fashion choice, one that will live in the same infamy as Calvin Coolidge wearing a feathered Indian headdress. Biden went to the well of the Senate and spoke gravely of war and peace wearing his tuxedo. The world's greatest deliberative body turned lounge act.

Way to be, Joe! How to qualify for leading the party of the common man in 2008! Why didn't you just go the whole route and speak in tails and top hat while twirling a cane?

Class symbolism aside, Biden's move would've been a death knell to his presidential bid had it ever drawn breath in the first place. Male voters make up 49 percent of the electorare, and a significant majority of men not only hate wearing tuxedos, they deeply resent seeing other men IN tuxedos. What can I say? It's stupid blind prejudice I'm behind 1000 percent.

It pains me to call Biden out. As a fellow native Delawarean, I wish him and his campaign well. So do Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and the staff of the Onion, albeit from slightly different motives.


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